December 2011
5 posts
2 tags
"Can I trust you? No. I don't want to"
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2 tags
2 tags
November 2011
75 posts
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I’ve lost my assignment
I don’t know where it is.
It’s probably in town somewhere.
I cannot handle this.
.
this journal thing that i’ve brought.
all I ever wanted to do is to slash it and tear the pages from it.
as well as myself.
test
Anorexia
[x] You hate your body. [x] You have starved yourself. [x] You have low self esteem. [ ] You use laxatives. [x] You need to be skinnier. [ ] People always say you’re skinny, but you think fat. [ ] People think you are way too skinny. [x] You skip at least one meal a day. [ ] You limit your calories or check them constantly by compulsion. Total: 5/9
ADHD [ ] You are hyper most of...
1 tag
;; Letter I'll never send #1
Dear A & S
Firstly, Thank you for being my friend. You have no idea what it’s like for me to have really good friends. Thank you for accepting me for who I am The world need really needs more people like you.
But I’m writing to you because I’m so sorry. I really am. Sorry to be the person that I actually am and turning out to be. Even though we are working at the same place...
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i want to cry.
i just fucking want to cry.
but the tears wont come.
deemiilovato:
.
yep.
once again.
i failed to tell them what’s wrong with me.
i hate saying that “i’m okay”
maybe I should shove my stupid journal at them.
3 tags
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i brought a journal today.
it’s plain and it’s purple - purple is my favorite colour.
the plan was to write down every single thought or whatever.
but i don’t know.
.
there’s this one person
and we go to the same college.
i’m scared because i’m afraid that i’m only
getting too close to them for my own mental stability.
they don’t know me too...
2 tags
3 tags
3 tags
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fuck it.
seriously.
why the hell do i amp my self up to tell you whats wrong with me
every time you ask
and then i just back out.
i’m pathetic.
3 tags
2 tags
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me: “heading off for the night. too much dramas happening online tonight. mentally unstable to deal with it. have a good weekend.”
it took me 10 minutes to type that out.
if my friend doesn’t fucking pick up that damn hint
then i’m going to go insane.
of course there’s no drama.
the only drama is happening inside my damn head.
angry at myself.
all i want to do
is fucking tell you that i’m not in a good place
so why isn’t the words coming out.
.
it’s snowing/raining outside
and i’m shaking.
i don’t know if i’m shaking from the cold or shaking from being so exhausted.
all i want to do is sleep.
i never knew reaching out for help could be so hard.
and still, i backed out.
.
i still continue to wonder why that every time that log on to the internet
that i have to open wikipedia and search major depressive disorder.
its like im setting myself up for denial.
.
who knew chemical changes in your brain could cause so much pain and misery?
6 tags
reblog if this applies to you
even after having the shittiest of days.
you continue to help your friends
and expect nothing in return.
but deep down you wish they’d do the same.
4 tags
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fuck you.
fuck you so much.
i don’t know why i’m getting upset all over the fact that you left facebook chat.
but fuck you.
i was about to reach out to you.
i was about to beg to you to please hel me escape from this shit reality in my head.
but you left.
and i’m stuck here.
i don’t hate you.
but just as i was getting the courage.
you left.
3 tags
3 tags
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and so the two year streak ends.
jlfadsjhk